When I became pregnant at 17, I was fortunate to have the birth father by my side and committed to getting through this terribly difficult time together. Giving up our child was a gut-wrenching choice, but we both felt it was the best – the only – option for us. Coping with the loss after the baby was born, however, was not something we had prepared for and it was the hardest part. I mourned the loss of this child for a very long time, but never regretted the decision we made.
Being so immersed in my own grief and loss, I never stopped to think about what was happening on the other side of the equation. Several years later, I was able to experience the unbelievable gift we had given someone – my sister adopted a baby boy after years of unsuccessfully trying to give birth. I was blessed to be there the day they received their son and I finally experienced healing. Watching these parents finally get the baby they had always wanted was the moment that finally closed the hole in my heart. This was not just my loss; it was someone else’s dream.
When we made our decision to give up our child, we vowed to stay committed to it; we would never search for our child until he was an adult and only if we were both in agreement. Today, open adoptions are common, but I don’t think I could have dealt with seeing my son with his new mother and father. I think the only way to survive is to be 100% sure that this is the best choice for you and for your child. Never doubting the choice we made was what got me through years of sadness and longing.
Ten years ago, I experienced the miracle of meeting my son. It was an amazing experience that I never expected. Thankfully, he and his adoptive parents accepted us with open arms and we are now a big, mixed-up family. I am one of the lucky ones.
Related articles
- Explaining My Adoption to My Biological Daughter (parenting.blogs.nytimes.com)
- Our Adoption Story (reynoldsraps2u.wordpress.com)
